Things They Don't Tell You When You Follow God Closely — You Will Have to Forgive People Who Never Apologize

This is post 9 in Things They Don't Tell You When You Follow God Closely, a weekly Sunday series from Alpha VI Battalion.

They Did Not Tell You Forgiveness Is Not Conditional

The cultural understanding of forgiveness is transactional. Someone wrongs you, they apologize, you forgive, the ledger is cleared. That model makes sense. It is fair. It is what most people are waiting for.

Following God closely requires a different model. One where the forgiveness is not contingent on the apology. Where you release the debt whether or not the person who owes it acknowledges it. Where you choose not to carry the weight of the offense regardless of whether the person who created it ever shows up to take it back.

That is not a natural human response. It is a supernatural one. And nobody tells you that it is going to be required of you, sometimes repeatedly, toward people who may never understand what you gave them by choosing it.

Forgiveness Is Not Reconciliation

One of the most important distinctions in this conversation is that forgiving someone does not mean reconciling with them. Forgiveness releases you from the obligation to carry the offense. It does not obligate you to restore access, rebuild trust, or return to proximity with someone who demonstrated they would use that proximity to harm you.

You can forgive someone completely and maintain a boundary with them permanently. Those two things are not in conflict. The forgiveness is for you. The boundary is also for you. Both are healthy. Neither requires the other person's participation.

Bitterness Is a Prison You Build for Yourself

The person who wronged you is not thinking about you the way you are thinking about them. The offense that lives rent free in your head is not living rent free in theirs. Bitterness punishes you with the weight of something the other person has already moved on from.

God cannot move freely in a life that is locked up by unforgiveness. Not because He is withholding Himself as punishment. Because bitterness occupies space that trust is supposed to occupy and you cannot fully trust God while simultaneously refusing to trust His process in the situation that hurt you.

Release It. Not for Them. For You.

The forgiveness you offer is not a gift to the person who wronged you. It is freedom you claim for yourself. It is the decision to stop letting someone else's actions determine the quality of your inner life. It is one of the most difficult and most freeing things a person who follows God closely will ever do.

Release it. Not because they deserve it. Because you do.

Stay in it, Light Bringer.

Continue Reading in This Series

Previous: The Blessing Will Be Tested Before It Is Released

Next: God Will Promote You Out of Comfort

Also read: It's Not Believe or Burn. It's Guilty But Rescued.

Wear What You Believe

Freedom from bitterness is a faith posture. The Faith Over Fear Tee carries that posture daily. Or wear the declaration with the Blessed Tee. Browse the full Spiritual and Inspirational Collection.

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